actually, I'm a sock model
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
