his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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