and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
