The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize