I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
