So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
