you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
