You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
did i just pee glitter
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
