New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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