All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
