how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My vagina is officially offended.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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