She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
