oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize