i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
