YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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