Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
