Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
