Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
