are you still at the devil's house?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
