Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
