she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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