This girl is more easily done than said...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
