Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So here I am, sexting at work.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
