you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
