Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
