yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
