You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
