dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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