just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
