We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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