what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
