Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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