Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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