i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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