I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Vodka?
Forever.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize