Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
