Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize