Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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