Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
