Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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