WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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