Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
