I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
