So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have aggressive nipples.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
