I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
