I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
