When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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