I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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