His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
