i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
