i think my mom watched the whole time
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
