You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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