mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
