I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
