How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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