Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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