Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
