I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dignity is for republicans.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
